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Online dating sites are weird; its like let me highlight all the great and awesome things about myself, completely omit any of the negatives, pander to the masses, tell you all the things you want to hear, make America great again and then build a wall around Mexico and have them pay for it. Wait, no. So my names Artie, and if you found this profile then congratulations, this is what rock bottom looks like. Are you picking up on that? Thats sarcasm. (And also, that clearly I have no idea how to start a profile.) So I'm supposed to talk about myself on here and woe you in at least a 100 characters. Nailed it.

Alright, nuff jokes. I'm 28 years old, i work for an insurance company/personal trainer, and have a pretty great life. I just moved up to Bristol so I'm new to area and I'm looking for someone I can spend quality time with and really get to know. I work a lot so it's hard to find time to meet people outside of a bar, and frankly I'm sick of that scene. I live a really active lifestyle and I'm at the gym about 8-9 days a week. When I'm not at the gym, working, or training, you can find me skating with the local shredders, going up to the casino, at a comedy club, shooting pool...etc. Conversely, I live for lazy days and cheat meals (ones that The Rock would look at and go thats too much), binge watch Netflix or kill a half day playing xbox. Big game of thrones and walking dead fan, and you can definitely spot me at any super hero movie premier. I keep a really open mind, and I live by the 2 L's. Laughing and learning. I also believe men have been so pussified at this point it's hard to tell them apart from a neutered chihuahua, that's not me. I'm a mans man. I fix broken things, say offensive things for the sake of the joke (I'm not gonna guess your line of decency. I cross my own from time to time, that's how I know I still have one) rip trees out with my bare hands and catch salmon with my teeth (those last 2 might be a lie) I'd keep going but that doesn't leave much discover.

So what am I looking for? Simplicity. Someone who I have great chemistry with and hanging out together is effortless. I believe relationships are comprised of a few things, they're not 50/50, they're 100/100. You get out of it what you put into it. Two people are supposed to better each other, not bring each other down. The weirdness/craziness is level with one another (let's be honest, we're all out of our minds to some level) and their has to be passion (yes of course i mean great sex). I don't need a caretaker. I do a bang up job taking care of myself, so I would hope you take care of yourself also. I'd take a strong 6-7 with an outgoing and awesome personality than a shallow 10 any day. A ride or die chick, if you will.

Did you seriously read all that? Have I sparked your interest? Think this is you and we'd be a good fit? Then wipe, flush, wash your hands, don't be gross and send me a message (chances are, you're probably reading this from the toilet anyway. Ah technology, what a time to be alive). Good luck and happy fisting....i mean fishing. Mother ducking autocorrect, amirite?
Bristol, Connecticut

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